Flirt

 I can pretend
 to be unmoved
when you smile.
  Flash my lashes
     act as if
my pulse
   doesn't race
my blood
   doesn't pound.
look away,
    dignified.
 Unaffected.
    I can feign
        I am
     unaware
of your touch,
    ignore
the tingle
        the heat
left upon my skin
 by the slightest
      brush
of your hand.
 I can make believe
    with the best
    my heart
 doesn't break
     just a little
 each time
     you
walk away.
 And I can
    pretend 
        you
are unaware
   of my every
    pretense
and wait
     hope
  you call
      my bluff

Fractured

I am not alone here
      in my
  grey matter cell
   they are legion
  who reside inside
       this hole.          
    They scream
    of regrets
and cry of pain
they have known
 they whisper
    secrets
  that freeze my
       shattered soul.
  They see through
my shuttered eyes
  and use my
numbed limbs;
   I am often left
to clean
  the messes
they have
       made.
I wash guilt
  from my hands
scrub the blood
     from my skin
and wait
    for the
memories
    to fade...

Something of forever...

 There is something
   of forever
        in us.
          we are
the unchanging dance
   of the moon
 returning
    in velvet darkness
 to embrace
    the star glittered sky.
        and like
   the ocean waves
 find their way back
     to kiss the sand,
  my soul
        always
  finds its way
    back
    to you.

Along The Way

     It has been
  a very long road.
A twisting path of many
    lies and false hopes.
  In finding our way
 we often stumbled
    And once
       lost faith
   when betrayed
        by darkness.
Now, finally,
    Hand in hand
we can walk in the light.
  Secrets divulged,
their shadows forgotten,
as we give ourselves over
  to the open journey
       and the
priceless discovery
   that our destination
    has always been
      each other.

Some Days...

        

There are
    some days
when I wish I could
    Just forget you.
   Release you back
 into whatever
  dream
or nightmare
  you came from.
Because there are
           some days
      when  the pain
          you caused 
       crashes
   into my soul
    with a will to destroy.
          It leaves me
       numb
         and empty.
          The world feels
     too big.
      Every moment seems
         futile,
           ...pointless.      
       And it is all
            I can do
    to breathe...
 to open my eyes...
      to exist... 
 There are
     some days
      I wish I could
 just  let you go.   
    but those
 are the days
       I need you
                     most.

Not Lost...

 Emptiness

echos in this room.
Where once
      your laughter
  would ring loud
and clear
 the silence
  is deafening.
It bounces of
    walls
and penetrates
    my soul
leaving me cold,
  stealing my warmth
    the way death
stole you
  from this world.
  This pain robs me
of the brightness
    you brought into my life
and leaves me
in the darkness
  of a profound
     and devastating grief
But it cannot rob me
of the
    love
      you leave behind.
 So I wrap
this grief
    around my frozen heart
and warm myself
with thoughts of you.
  I will light a
   thousand candles
     in the hollow darkness
      and allow
the vastness of your
   memory to fill
the void your absence
    leaves behind
And I will revel in the
   knowledge
that you are not lost.
you have simply
   become part
of everyone
who ever
    loved you.

Kenn Duffy  3-5-91   2-26-12
  You are missed.

Unspoken...

     In the sweet
            anticiaption
   of each passing moment
             waiting
         for you to arrive,
     thoughts crowd
         into my head;
    questions
           answers
              explanations
 compete to be the first
    to reach your ears.
  but the very moment
        you 
  walk through my door
     and smile
            at me
   the words fall short
  and everything my heart
        needs to say
      can only be spoken
          with my lips
              against
             yours

Common Thread

There is a thread of you
  sewn into the garment
        of my soul;
       once rent with sorrow,
              now there is
         a beautiful seam
       of tiny, perfect stitches.
    Your thread has mended holes
         torn by  regret
               and grief.
      It has basted together
          the  raveling edges
           and careless tears
         of  misuse and
                 heartbreak.
       It has patched up
             threadbare,
             rough worn places
      that no one ever saw,
                but you.
             And now,
                   this thread
           has become
             part of me,
                 And you
          have become part
             of everything
                   I am.                       
   
 

Detente

  We are both
     battle worn
  and scarred
  from this war
    we wage.
 There has been
   blood spilled
      on both sides
  from sharpened words
     wielded in anger;
   a broken truce
draws lines in the sand.
 Your armor is tarnished;
      my tower in ruins.
 We have only a single
          kingdom
 to which we both lay claim.
      but only one of us
     may have ownership.
  the emissary of peace
     demands compromise
        but I will not
    surrender my ground
         without knowing
  if I trade my throne
        for chains.
  So you throw your
           white flag
    at my feet.
       take the chains
             I fear
       upon yourself.
            exchanging
     your sword
           for the
        uncertainty
    of my forgiveness..

Apology

 


  I cannot grant
      forgiveness
            as easily
   as you bestow 'sorries'.
     My words hold weight,
     they have meaning,
   unlike any 'sorry'
    you have ever spoken.
 You kneel at my feet
    to plead your
      regret.
   Now you see 
    what you have lost.
 what you threw away.
    Now you feel
  the absence
      of something
     truly spectacular,
        and rare.
   You lift your eyes to mine
        you whisper
            you beg
          and I turn away.
     'Sorry' isn't currency
     accepted by this broken soul.
       And forgiveness costs
              far more
      than any atonement
         you offer
             on bent knee.