I miss you.

of all the words I say to you
those have the deepest meaning for me.
And yet no meaning for you at all.


©Vivid X Photography (Sunset over the Missouri)

confession...

She may think she has you
tied up in her satin bows
but I know a secret she doesnt know.

you prefer a stronger hand
a sharper tongue and wit
a warmer touch, a much tighter fit.

And when she falls asleep
its me thats on your mind.
quiet moves and soft sighs mark the time.

her smug smiles and laughter
when she thinks you dont see
would fade if she knew how much you think of me.

©Vivid X Photography (Thinking of you)

My Secret..

My heart aches to see you again
and though I know
I shall be soon home in your arms
where I belong
my impatience is wearing
on my soul

When I am lying here in the dark
needing your touch
Missing the feel of holding you
close against me
your sweet face against my hearbeat
I try to remember..

We both do what is necessary
to get through
do what responsibility requires
and keep our promises
even though it often pulls us apart
...I have faith in you.

©Vivid X Photography ( Mine)

Remember Me...

For Bianca and Whitney
In Rememberance of Joshua Ryan Ray

When you start to cry..
Remember that I loved to laugh
And smile again for me.

When you get angry that I am gone
Remember that I did not leave you
because I wanted to.

When you feel like quiting
because it gets too hard alone
Remember that I am always here beside you.

When time passes
And you find some happiness
Do not be sad, when you remember me.

When your life gets so busy
that you cant find time to breathe
Remember me, and stop to watch the sunset.


~Max Xavier with Erik Smith

Photograph courtesy of Whitney J Glickman For Vivid X Photography ©(Remember Me)

Journey..

Life does not always happen
the way we expect
So many twists and turns
leading one way
So many forks in the road
leading to others

It is no great wonder
that some people lose their way
and some just slow down
until they are far behind...

Do we mourn the lost
and those who fall behind?
Do we keep journeying on
or stop and wait for others?

I choose to walk along my path.
When you catch up, Ill be here
to walk beside you again.
A new beginning. A new journey.

Picture courtesy of ©Vivid X Photography ( Walk With Me)

Pj..

I miss you so much today
I can feel time inching closer
to that day when everything slams into me
and the world is nothing but a black hole
I endure for everyone else's sake.

I want them to take it away.
Just take the day out of the calendar
so I never have to look at it again.
so I never have to feel this way again.

22 years I have grieved for you.
and it has never lessened. never waivered.
and the tears are enough
to drown a soul completely.

all these years I have been lost
waiting for you to find me again.
and I could not convince myself
that you are not coming back.

But you aren't , are you?
And I have to figure how
I am going to make it through all of this
without you. Just not today.

I can't do it today.

©Vivid X Photography ( Merry Fucking Christmas)

Love letters..

...the words you have written into my heart
cannot be swept away by the tide..

©Vivid X Photography ( Love Letters)

Is it possible
to be so broken inside
you aren't fixable?

©Vivid X Photography ( Marlow's Heart)

miss you...

I close my eyes for just a moment
to catch my breath,
to clear my head
to think about something else besides you.

instead, I see your face

and remember the last time I kissed you
outside the library
in the April sunshine
whispered love still lingering in my ears

and my heart aches

So I open my eyes to the new world
to begin again
to make things right.
To think about how your love changed me.

and then I called to say hello.

Sunrise

I sat up all night
just waiting for the sun to rise
so I could give it to you.
Sitting there, on the cool sand
smelling the salt, and the spray
the surf loud in my ears,
so loud it drowned out my words to you.
but I whispered them later
in your ear
while you held me close
and we let the night close in...

©VividXPhotography ( Just Another Day )

Sated..

I can still feel your kisses
setting fire to my soul
wreaking havoc with my resolve
and leaving us both
wanting, needing
Until there was no choice
but skin on skin
no choice
but to feed off the heat
no choice
but crashing into each other
until we couldnt tell
where you ended and I began
and so we collapsed together,
sated for a moment
laughing and talking and being silly...

and forgetting
that time was running out...

©VividXPhotography (Self-Portrait)

Tunnel of love..

Oughta be easy, oughta be simple enough..

the lyrics go

But nothing is ever easy

sometimes we don't get the ride

we bought the tickets for.

And sometimes, it's worth standing in line

to ride all over again.


Photo courtesy of Vivid XPhotography© ( Tickets,Please)

Wake up Call..

You may think what you have is special
and you alone hold what's real
But you have been mistaken before
It isn't smart to trust how you feel

Everything you've built in your heart
has a crumbling foundation, it seems
Just a brutal fantasy world
He's constructed from cast away dreams

While you're looking in the mirror, girl
Take a close look at what you see there
The lines on your face are just getting deeper
And the grey more plentiful in your hair

You're just wasting time with the likes of him
He isn't worth a moment's faith
The heart he breaks wont cost him sleep
and the tears not a moment's pain.

Matryoshka

Secrets nestled within secrets
like russian dolls
brilliantly colored
and on display
if one chooses to see.

You open one up,
only to find another
an unwitting player
of a never ending game
full of pain and deceit

Inclement..

The sound of summer storms
always remind me of you;

The shifting silver of tempestuous clouds
your eyes
The warmth of the rain on my face
your kisses.
The thunder rolling through my chest
your heart beat
Lightning skittering through my veins
your touch

And after all is quiet again,
hope is restored, life renewed.
The whole of our world cleansed;
lush , green and sated...

That always reminds me of your love.

Homecoming..

 

   How Ive missed you
    my lover, my friend;
seems like eternity
    has come and gone.
 And  in  the moment
       I hold you again,
 I'll live my dreams
        of coming home.
  To hold you close
    In sheltered twilight   
        To dance among
    the cobbled paths
 To whisper love
    in brightest sunlight
         To kiss your soft ,sweet
           lips at last
To lay with you
     in  darkened shadows
  Fly with you
        to skies above
  To walk with you
    in velvet starglow
To live, to laugh
       to joyously love
To wake with you
   in the breathless morning
Run with you
      under the moon
to dream of life
        in all its glory
Wait for me, love
      I'll be home soon...

A message...

For all my life and forever
There's a truth I will always know
When my world divides and shatters
Your love is where I'll go

~Lisa Angelie

Conflict

lost and all alone
naked and exposed
wanting you to have everything I am

scared and so confused
nothing left to lose
always in the palm of your hand.

the war in your eyes
and your hesitant goodbye
tell me everything you wouldn't say

First sight...

To find you was a miracle
A gift of sweet rarity
To hold you was pure heaven
a glimpse of eternity.
To kiss you was intoxicating
a taste of what life could be
To make love to you in sunlight
a dream within a dream...

pages

do you remember that kiss?
drops of rain
falling on our faces
gentle, like tears,
but tasting of pureness
and long forgotten dreams

Do you remember that moment?
snow slashing at the windows
warm , naked, sated
wrapped in each other's arms
fitted perfectly together
reality sliding away.

Do you remember that echo?
sitting under cool shadows
stealing time and kisses
needing to touch
Needing skin against skin
but too scared of being found


Do you remember that day?
when everything changed
the rain was really tears
the snow frozen against my heart
and the shadows found us
turning our last kiss to ash...

Another life...

Slowly she turned in the gentle, flickering light. Tonight.Tonight her lover would come. And she would be waiting for him.
She stoked the fire until flames burnished the copper of her hair, and cast shadows onto the furs thickly piled on the stone floor. She smoothed the satin ribbons holding the wisps of gossamer encasing her legs. Her long, elegant fingers skimmed over her pale silk clad body, searching out imperfections,and of course finding none.
It was almost midnight.The atmosphere would shift, she would feel his arrival before she could see his beautiful face. He would kiss her first...here.., then those burning lips would go lower following the pale curves of her body.She traced the path his mouth would take with her hands, her desire flaring into life with every stroke of her fingers.
Sinking down into the soft ,gray fur below her,she slid her now aching body into the sweet friction of the velvet pelts.The raw whisper of her gown was barely heard .Ripping the heated silk from her body,she flung it into the greedy flames.The crackling of the fire masked her moans of need and scorched her writhing body with its searing heat.
Her breasts swelling with desire,she caressed the creamy flesh,squeezing and rubbing the puckered duskiness of her nipples .Pulling a breast to her red glazed lips,she suckled herself hungrily,biting with intense need.
Her body called out for release,her wanton fingers wandered lower,burrowing into the gossamer curls hiding the pulsing, drenched core of pleasure. With practiced , perfect movements,she slid two fingers into the hot wetness that seemed to flow at the mere thought of him. Bringing her silk clad knees to her chest,she watched herself with every stroke coming closer to heaven.
Screaming his name with her release,she slumped onto the fur. Pulling an edge over her temporarily sated body,she drifted off into the realm of dreams.
He did come that night,instantly hard at the sight that greeted him.His beautiful lover,asleep on his hard won furs,legs splayed in an open invitation he wouldn't decline.Naked,but for the crimson silk of her garter and stockings.........

Time gone by...

You told me you would come
and I believed you
I hoped, and I dreamed
and I waited here.

Minutes passed
But I had no doubts
So here I stayed
even when they turned to hours

Soon it was months
that drifted into years
how quickly this lifetime
went by.

Though I am now
but a dream
myself, you told me you would
come, so I will wait here.

Still...

I miss the feel of your skin
miss touching your face
miss holding you close to me
it wasnt so long ago.
but feels like forever.
and though everything has changed
my soul still feels you near.
my life is still yours.
my love still whole.
my heart still open to you.

A message...

How silly of you
to read between the lines
of words so foreign to you

Silly to infer meaning,
when the language of my soul
is known only to myself.

So easily led
to your own detriment
believing useless lies

and seeing a mirage
of truth in words
that are nothing but facade.